And without reflection, we can find ourselves continuing to hide or push away the painful parts of our past through ineffective behaviors. Your turn: Our upbringings define us in so many ways, often unexplored. "It began to dawn on me that my overcompensation and fake bravado were really just another, more insidious, manifestation of the coward." I talked not because I had anything particularly important to say but because I was afraid. The triggers would also lead him to desperately find safety in humor by cracking jokes (even if it meant going too far, as seen in him getting knocked unconscious by a classmate on his first day of high school).Īs he reflected on that first day at Overbrook High, he wrote, "I was always talking, always joking-I never shut up. These triggers could prompt jealousy (as in his self-comparison with Tupac Shakur, his wife's childhood friend and deemed a poet and hero in the hip hop culture compared to Will's more pop-centric style). He would spend the rest of his life and career haunted by this belief and triggered by people he believed were fearless and "hard" while he felt sensitive and scared. When he observed his father's violence toward his mother but was frozen in fear of doing anything (while his younger brother, Harry, was unafraid to stand up to their father), Will developed the deep belief that he was "a coward." The primary source of Will's fear was the militaristic style of his father, who he called Daddio. "The constant fear during my childhood honed my sensitivity to every detail in my environment." There are way too many thought-provoking passages in the 400+ pages memoir to discuss here, but here are five insightful ones, with some of my coaching questions that can help relate them to your life and work.
And that the Will Smith attitude we all have come to know was in large part expertly crafted by him to avoid deep-seated pain and fear stemming from childhood. You can always find a plethora of articles and video clips on these aspects of him.īut in this memoir, he is refreshingly introspective and vulnerable, letting the reader in on not just what he accomplished and how but also why he did. In later decades of his career, he also has become famous not just for his movies but by sharing his philosophies on life, like having a killer work ethic and a "never-say-die" mindset. Most people easily recognize the exceedingly funny, entertaining, and crowd-pleasing Will Smith. Perhaps the most special aspects of this book for Will Smith fans as well as those interested in coaching for personal development is that he expresses something he has rarely shown in his 30+ years of celebrity: deep vulnerability. And often, helping them deconstruct the stories of their role models to learn from is a powerful method to explore innovative ways of approaching the challenges in front of them.
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